The Rise & Fall (& Rise Again)

Surreal! Summarises the last few months more accurately than the last 31 years of my life.

Not long ago, I was admiring the air cooled, 17hp, Bajaj Pulsar 200 that my colleague had bought and I told myself if I end up with a 250cc liquid cooled bike, I would have achieved a milestone in life. And I did..

Before I knew it, I pulled a wheelie on a 954cc, 4 cylinder super bike, on the crest of turn 9 at Thunderhill raceway.

But the real milestone was when I dragged a knee, experiencing 1.7 negative Gs, plummeting 4 stories from the top of cork screw down to Rainey’s curve, at Laguna Seca. This was after an all out drag race from turn 6 against a 2008 Yamaha R6.

Th hunger to do more, pushed me from merely riding that 250 cc single, to breaking the 100mph barrier, while scraping my wafer thin knee puck, at turn 8 in Thunderhill Raceway.

It also made me realize that you “can” outpace a 190hp Ducati Panigale with a 107 hp 2002 GSXR750, in a race. (Pics: Race - Position 8 out of 14, started 13th). All you need is the will, determination (and lots and lots of training) to do it.

The hunger, made me explore over 60,000 miles of CA in 2 yrs......

  ....and learn the nuances of working on the cylinder head of an engine, servicing the suspension and to craftily use an angle grinder in tight spaces.

It pushed me to pass my AFM (American Federation of Motorcycles) certification just 3 years hopping on to a motorcycle saddle for the first time. 

It made me more patient, steadfast, tenacious and realize that, giving up ain't an option when you want to achieve something.

So, when the yellow flag came out and the rider in front of Alex chopped throttle; little did I know I would end up in a front wheel lock, that would require a CPR and leave me partially blind, with 5 broken bones and brain damage.

Snapped femur, broken scapula, orbital fracture, blood clot over the medulla, 3rd cranial nerve palsy and a trapped inferior rectus under the right eye.

The damage could be defined by medical terms quite accurately. But no words can explain, how much I am hurt on the inside and how much it takes, trying to mend myself.

I cried in the hospital one day, when I came out of the bathroom. Not because I was in pain, but because I couldn’t see the bathroom door and ran into it.

How am I gonna ride again?

For people who think, it’s nothing but a hobby and I shouldn’t take it seriously, they can join the list of naysayers, who have always told me “YOU CANNOT DO IT”. I have no time for ya’ll

I go by one thing and one thing only:

“It ain’t about how far I have come or how much it took to get here… It’s about where I want to be and I’Il be damned if I don't try harder everyday… to achieve it“

I can’t see half the road or even half my face when I look into the mirror. I dunno when I can see or IF I can see.. Considering, doctors don’t have answers to why, when or how the 3rd nerve palsy causing partial vision loss is gonna heal. (pic: my current vision field deficiency, after 8 months)

I remembered the day, when my therapist asked me to move my shoulder and I screamed in pain. 2 weeks later I did 5 push ups and 2 weeks after that ... 15.

I dunno what it's gonna take me to get back on that saddle and cross that finish line, with the checkered flag waving. But I’ll be damned if I don’t try harder everyday.. every moment.

A New Beginning

60… 70… 80… the tach was reading 7300 on 3rd… the CBR just came of turn 6, a fast left hand switchback after a 60 foot drop from top of the hill… He undercut a deep blue R1, just before the entry to the turn and scraped his wafer thin knee puck on the apex, trying to keep the beast in line. He catches a glimpse of Alex’s grey daytona just as he looks towards the exit marker. Its a good 100 ft in front of him.

He hangs of the bike, head still down, lifts the bike as he rolls on the gas… real hard, his calf muscles scream in agony as he weighs the outside peg. The voice in his head is still calm. “Focus. Focus. Focus” The throttle is fully open even before the bike is stood up fully and bike drifts towards the rumble strip on the outside of the track.

Its a good drive out of the corner, and he just has to maintain his pace through the next 2 turns to outbreak the torquey triple on the inside of turn 9. He has ridden that triumph. He knows the radially mounted Nissins in the triumph lacks the initial feel or bite of his bike.

Turn 7 and 8 might as well be a straight line for most bikes as they keep they hardly roll of the throttle for either of the corners. Not for the 1000’s though. The outside of 8 is too dangerously pitted for any sort of off road excursion. Ram’s R6 had a lucky day when it just ended with a broken windscreen. However there have been worse. A 06 gxxer’s frame split it half when it hit the rain ditch at over 100 mph, went up in the air a good 15 feet and landed on its steering snapping the frame in two and tossing the engine out like a crushed soda can.

Not today, not to his CBR, the body is firmly set to the left of the bike as he goes full throttle through turn 7. On exit the bike drifts right as he sets up the entry for turn 8. Rolls slightly off the gas as he gives all the strength to counter steer the bike into the 120mph obtuse left hander.

He gets it right. The bike rises again as he gives it the full beans on exit. He is less than 40 ft from the blue and white leathers of Alex. He hasn’t let the revs fall below 7000, which means there is a chance another cog can be slotted before the tight uphill right hander to enter the new section. The tach redlines just as he crosses the exit marker. He slots the next gear and the bike is really shifting. 20 ft.

He gradually shifts his lower body to the right setting up for the next corner, with the throttle fully open and body tucked in. 10ft.

He sees Alex brake a good 4 bike lengths ahead of the marker. Thats it, this is his chance. He keeps the throttle pinned.

He shoots past Alex at over 100 ft per sec on the inside line.

He is so focused on the triumph, that he fails to notice his line. At this pace, he is not going to make the next right hander. The braking marker has just crossed the peripheral vision, but the mind hasn’t registered it yet. It takes a fraction too long for him to shut the throttle and squeeze the brakes.

The braking and entry point is long gone and he desperately tries to look for the apex of the turn hoping that he can still slow down enough to make the turn. He knows that turn 9 has a wide entry and most people don’t capitalize on it. The uphill to the following 90 degree left right switch back is a real momentum killer.

The brakes are really pulsing now and they fight hard against his middle and index fingers causing the rear wheel to hop.There is less than 200 ft to make the bike comply. At which point, it becomes neon impossible to make the turn at any speed over 40 mph. Especially considering the steep angle of attack to the corner.

The bike is covering 88ft/sec and decelerating.

He knows he won’t make it.  

He stands the bike up and runs off past the cones into the uphill left hander of the old course.

That’s it. His session has come to an end. He is livid. Stops the bike and looks right as Alex shoots past him shaking his head. He knows Alex is grinning inside his lid.

Looks at the turn worker’s station as the lady waves the yellow, indicating a moron off course where there are 9 orange cones dotting the area not to be in.

She points him in the downhill direction towards turn 10 on the old course.

With less than 3 min to the end of the session, he just cruises down the essess, puts his hand up, and pulls into the pits.

Dehydrated, Tired, Sore and Seething.