"No music for the ride?" Adi quipped over WhatsApp as I messaged him from my over night stop in Crescent City; on my way to Portland....... on 2 wheels.
What can I say? The high pitched wail of the cams as I open the throttle, is the lead guitar shredding.. the rumble of the tires, is the percussion and the whoosh of air through the airbox is the bass!! I am listening to a live rock performance just fine :).
And the best part about this journey...
The scenery.. perpetually changing.... mystic... dynamic and just jaw droppingly beautiful and mesmerizing!
The scenery.. perpetually changing.... mystic... dynamic and just jaw droppingly beautiful and mesmerizing!
Life as I knew it changed, exactly 2 years ago today. All my notions of how the world works, the concept of causality, the belief in control over consequences from actions, had to be re examined and re evaluated.
By no means have I started believing in the supreme power of a divine entity defined by theology. Or in the concepts of fate and destiny for that matter. If anything, I've become more stead fast in my belief that every outcome is a result of a sequence of actions. Both known and unknown. Conscious and sub conscious. Self driven, circumstantially driven, environmentally driven and driven by other human entities.
I cannot predict the actions of a person driving a car. I don't know if he or she is drunk or sober. But what I can definitely do is, make sure my vehicle service is done on time. I have enough rest before a long rides. And pay attention to the road ahead.
By no means have I started believing in the supreme power of a divine entity defined by theology. Or in the concepts of fate and destiny for that matter. If anything, I've become more stead fast in my belief that every outcome is a result of a sequence of actions. Both known and unknown. Conscious and sub conscious. Self driven, circumstantially driven, environmentally driven and driven by other human entities.
I cannot predict the actions of a person driving a car. I don't know if he or she is drunk or sober. But what I can definitely do is, make sure my vehicle service is done on time. I have enough rest before a long rides. And pay attention to the road ahead.
In other words, no one can guarantee a positive outcome, a 100% of the time. But I can definitely control the input actions/factors to increase the probability of the expected positive outcome.
This view was a burden to hold on to, initially. I couldn't accept that I don't have a 100% control over outcomes. It is probably easier to believe in fate. But, realizing this reality is what made this trip happen.
4 days of riding. Over 40hrs of thoughts within the confines of my helmet. 1800 miles of reflection & introspection..
When I returned from the trip, and was asked how it was, all I could say was the cliched "Awesome!", "Beautiful!" and so on. Which it was, no doubt. But I finally settled on the word that aptly summarizes it. Therapeutic.
You see, the world around me hasn't changed. I have the same problems I had a week back. But just like how persistence is all that got me to walk, swim, run and ride again, this trip was therapy to help me recoup my confidence. The confidence to push on
On June 18th, I got back on the race track for the second time..
Reached a goal I set in the hospital 2 years back. But most importantly, didn't get damned!! 😄 For context, it's the notoriously etched phrase at the end of this post . (Rise & Fall)
Reached a goal I set in the hospital 2 years back. But most importantly, didn't get damned!! 😄 For context, it's the notoriously etched phrase at the end of this post . (Rise & Fall)
Truth be told, I am scared to be ecstatic because, there might be an element of ego that follows it. I sure as hell, cannot afford more injuries caused by even a hint of over confidence. Physically, psychologically and financially too. But I can afford to be content and at peace. Being peaceful ensures that I don't lose sight of the end objective.
"It ain't done till it's done."
"It ain't done till it's done."
I promised myself that I would cross the finish line with the checkered flag waving and I ain't there yet. It don't matter if I come last, but I need to finish a race successfully.
Both these milestones have given me some peace of mind. The reassurance that working hard is the only option. Pushing for progress is always a non zero value and it sure is better than being stationary.
My task list is longer than what it was 2 yrs back. Not because I like filling them and scattering them in the void of self importance. I mean, at some point my task list did include daily tasks like walk 5000 steps with the crutch to train my brain to maintain balance. Just yesterday, I ran a 10K for warm-up on the treadmill and that featured in my task list too.
So yes, the task list continues to get longer in this pursuit, every time I reach a threshold. How much am I going to push? I have answered it here... http://octanestreaks.blogspot.com/2016/03/persistent-adamant.html
So yes, the task list continues to get longer in this pursuit, every time I reach a threshold. How much am I going to push? I have answered it here... http://octanestreaks.blogspot.com/2016/03/persistent-adamant.html
This trip pushed my limits of physical endurance. I was running on protein and granola bars the entire day. And, I wasn't sure if the gasoline was propelling me or the energy from those bars. ~900 miles each way, stopping only for fuel and hydration. Sore back, shoulders, and it felt like I had just done 2 hrs of squats and shoulder presses every time I stopped.
But while my body was screaming in pain, the mind was tranquil. There is a sense of clarity.
The clarity to push on.. to keep aiming higher.. to pursue more
There is peace....
But while my body was screaming in pain, the mind was tranquil. There is a sense of clarity.
The clarity to push on.. to keep aiming higher.. to pursue more
There is peace....
